Fighting my way out of the dark - Part 8

[Holding]

Thanks, Jim. I agree that pushing S15 to attend will just push him farther away from religion.

I think the point is you're putting BLAME on yourself. For being being angry and distant. Toward someone who cheated on you and treated you badly. Those are natural, healthy reactions, and NOT anything to stress over!

Thanks. When I was my angriest, I did get feedback here asking me why I was letting the anger get to me so much. Maybe my anger was appropriate.

"If only I did better, I could have saved my M!" Is that where you're at? Why? What makes you think that? Even if you were "perfect" (there ain't no such thing) and did everything "right" and your W came home, you still couldn't have "saved" your M--you may have been able to build a NEW one, ended up in piecing... with your XW who isn't any different, who wouldn't have done the work, and who would still be treating you shabbily. Does that sound like something you'd want?

All these thoughts don't hit me much except when I come here. I read other sitches (granted, with different WW's) and I think back on my own sitch and wonder how things would have been different if I'd taken a different approach. I don't know why I go there - it's pointless. I wonder if it's problem solving, or trying to find a way to examine my faults and improve.

If I were someone else looking in on my sitch, I know I'd say "It's good you got her out of your life." I know I didn't deserve to be cheated on, and I don't blame myself for that.