I'm going to go out on a limb because I'm definitely no relationship expert, but my personal opinion is that it's ok to enjoy all the moments of getting to know each other; it's ok to get physical early in a R if that's what you want, and to accept or give gifts and basically do things that maybe get overshadowed as R's become longer term.
And here comes Donh with a chainsaw aimed at the base of that limb. . The problem with getting physical early is it often clouds judgement and feelings. This is especially true for women. I'm not saying that you should not have some physical contact, kissing, etc., early on, even the first date, but actual sexy early on can make it very difficult to really tell if things are real. Sex makes people feel good. It's built into the human drive for a reason. But so does heroin make people feel good. Both do so early on. We then tend to confuse the feelings we get from the physical contact with feelings of love or at least strong like - when they are more just feelings of lust. This confuses our brains into thinking it's real when it's just as much the endorphins at play as anything real. It's biological. Be careful of early intimacy.
As to what he did Ginger, you've said multiple times now that he is trying too hard. I'd have to agree with this latest move. So believe what you are seeing there. He is most certainly trying hard. But is that bad? In and of itself I don't think it is. I think it's nice and you should enjoy it. But (there is always a but, isn't there?) WHY is he trying so hard? That's where I'd worry. What's going on with that? Does he love the chase and then he backs off. Love avoidant guys often come on very strong like this then all of a sudden back off. Desperate guys who don't want to be alone do the same. BUT so do genuine nice guys.
So, it's really too early to tell. Personally, this would push me back a bit - but that's me. It may be a broken part of me, but its me. If a girl was trying this hard with me this early on I'd wonder what's wrong with her and the pursuit would likely have my guard up. It's too much too fast. Why is he not a prize that you should be chasing? Instead it almost seems like he thinks you are too good to be true, too good for him and he really wants you. Many women would be thrilled with that. Still I question why? what's going on here?
You can't tell any other way but with time. You'll find out soon enough. Just don't let him speed things up on you like FF did. Everything happened so fast with FF. You guys went from zero to sixty and then burned out just as fast. I'm not seeing that here, yet wow, you mention a hat missing out of your collection and within days he gives it to you? I'd have waited for a special,occasion for this gift. But that's just me.
Hope something in there helps.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
. The problem with getting physical early is it often clouds judgement and feelings. This is especially true for women. I'm not saying that you should not have some physical contact, kissing, etc., early on, even the first date, but actual sexy early on can make it very difficult to really tell if things are real. Sex makes people feel good. It's built into the human drive for a reason. But so does heroin make people feel good. Both do so early on. We then tend to confuse the feelings we get from the physical contact with feelings of love or at least strong like - when they are more just feelings of lust. This confuses our brains into thinking it's real when it's just as much the endorphins at play as anything real. It's biological. Be careful of early intimacy.