Detaching still going ok. Had to talk myself out of a relapse today though. Here's the last 2 days (my last post was Saturday night)....
Sunday started out ok. H left before I even got up. I went to churh services with a friend (haven't been in years, and I guess I picked the wrong Sunday to go back as they had a very STALE guest speaker). After church I went on my brisk 3 mile walk (GAL activity for me). Kids were all going to be home for family dinner again. I told H on Saturday that everyone would be home, would be nice for him to join us. He said he would be working on his apartment, so probably not.
Sunday night I invited him to sleep in the house again (I have a physical weakness for him, my body just won't listen to my brain). Monday morning we were talking as he was getting ready to go work on his apartment again (we both had holiday off). He asked what time I had to meet my "friend" for lunch (at this point, I knew it bothered him that I had plans). I told what time, he asked if it was friend from work. I said no, it so and so. He said oh, he thought if was new friend. I told him I don't have any friends he doesn't know.
Anyway, as I was finishing up lunch, s17 calls me said s19 (who had left early that morning- his day off too) texted him that he got his truck stuck WAYYYYY up in the mountians, he hiked down to cell service (he broke rule #1, never go by yourself). So I raced home, picked up s17, switched to father-in-law's 4 wheel drive (storming up by Yosemite). Drove for quite a ways up the mountain, saw footprints, no s19. We concluded he got picked up. Turned around and started heading back down another direction that what we went up, so we could get cell service and call s19. Good thing we took different direction, we ended up running into a friend (very highly unlikely, as these are BACK ROADS, in a storm) who also had s19 with him. They were headed up to get truck unstuck. S17 switched to their truck to help. That was 4:30pm.
I went home, H came home about 8pm, boys still not back, no word from them. I told H I was going to call sister-in-law to get a hold of wife of person boys with, she didn't have number. Then decided to call Sheriff Search and Rescue, it's storming, they're up at about 8000 feet, no provisions, and calling only gets straight to voicemail. Called Sheriff, gave them every piece of info I could, down to the roads I had been on, and when I last saw them. They said they would get started. Few minutes after I got off the phone, just a hunch, I tried calling S19 again, finally rang he answered. Said they couldn't get his truck unstuck, but friend's truck got stuck that's what took so long, they were coming back down just got into cell range. Called Sheriff back, called off search and rescue.
As soon as I got off that call I broke down. I was in an emotional tailspin. I went to H for deep hug, then told him I can't take anymore stress. He said, "Meg, just breathe, they're ok." That one went way over his head.
H slept in the house again, but just sleep, too cold out right now to sleep in hunting trailer. H got up first this morning, my alarm is set later than normal since kids are out of school this week. My body is still tense from yesterday. My poor s19, beating himself up right now for going to the high country alone. He said no more snow play for him, he'll stick to mud.
This morning I was all set to go home and start begging H again to reconsider. But I have talked myself out of it. Just have to keep going, one day at a time.
