You lie about your age by 5 years - that's a deal-breaker.
Perhaps just give that some thought.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Thanks for sharing that personal story and for adding why it ended. Like Coconut, I was curious, but was waiting to see if you would tell us the rest of the story. LOL Inquiring minds want to know, right?
You know, I really thought about all you said after I read it. I have been in that place of self-righteousness myself and it is sometimes hard to realize it. Years ago, long before I even met my XH, I was the OW on more than one occasion with college guy (yes, the college guy I mentioned here a few months ago). We had, from the very first time we met, this amazing, undeniable connection, but our lives just took us in different directions, which has told me more than once that ultimately, we are not meant to be. It was REALLY easy for me to forget that I had been an OW when I found out my XH cheated. All my anger was turned on him and I felt so incredibly self-righteous about the whole thing: how dare he, who does he think he is, etc. But, I have come to realize lately (and your post brought it to the forefront of my mind yet again), that I have been in the same position that my XH's OW put me in and I made someone else's wife (now XW) feel the same way I did and I don't like it. Not my proudest moment.
Thing is, Jeep....Don has a point. She lied about being MARRIED, you just shaved a few years off your age. It isn't like you told her you were 30 when you were 46. You told her you were in your 40's....just not as far in as you actually were. Seems to me "hiding" a husband is a much greater "sin" than deleting a few years, but that is just my opinion.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
I do realize that. And in the subsequent arguments after our breakup that came out. Turns out there is much more to the story.
I had seen little flags but chose not to pay attention to them. See, she was an incredible woman...and honestly my style (or type). But, there was a darker side. I do believe she suffers from borderline personality disorder and maybe even bipolar. She mentioned that last night that I was so good for her that she stopped taking her meds. I let it go because, well, I loved her. And I believed her.
But yeah, I get it. I also found out that she was married and divorced three times.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
I do believe she suffers from borderline personality disorder and maybe even bipolar. She mentioned that last night that I was so good for her that she stopped taking her meds.
It seems as if you both began a relationship with lies. You know that isn't a very good foundation for a relationship. it's hard to trust the other person when they begin with lies, and you both did.
Could there be a clean slate start over? Who knows. But you mention HQ came to live by you. So maybe you just need to write this one off as a learning experience.
I kissed a married guy one night when I was drunk. Well, we kissed eachother. My self-righteousness was definitely put into check right there and then. My ex husband was my friend's BF. The karma train promptly hit me on that one. We are actually very close friends, and boy am I fortunate for that. I was in a very low place where I wanted to die and everyone in my life had abandoned me, and he was there. My therapist says it was my way of survival, and it doesn't define who I am.
Stop talking/thinking about how things would have been great if only you hadn't lied about your age.
You were infatuated with a hot chick and chose to overlook the crazy because of it.
You need to enlist a good friend to vet your future dates. This was a disaster averted.
Ummmm...... yeah! a bipolar woman who goes off her meds because she "feels good", lies about her marital status and has been divorced 3 times by 27 is actually dodging a nuclear bomb.
It seems as if you both began a relationship with lies. You know that isn't a very good foundation for a relationship. it's hard to trust the other person when they begin with lies, and you both did.
True, that was my only lie. And as far as I can tell, her only one, too.
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Could there be a clean slate start over? Who knows. But you mention HQ came to live by you. So maybe you just need to write this one off as a learning experience.
That bridge was burned down at the end. I mean badly. We both said some very mean things. She slandered me. I told people the truth. She blamed me for her losing everything, including her oldest son (who moved across country with his dad to get away from that drama, and now my son lost his best friend in the process). So, you see, that bridge is destroyed. Lessons learned.
I agree on the way of survival. She came along at just the right time for me. Easy pickings lol
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I would just live by being honest at all times.
That alone taught me the most valuable lesson in a long time.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Stop talking/thinking about how things would have been great if only you hadn't lied about your age.
You were infatuated with a hot chick and chose to overlook the crazy because of it.
You need to enlist a good friend to vet your future dates. This was a disaster averted.
Truth.
Oh, it was a disaster. It was a freaking nightmare. Police and all were involved, too. But hey, I'm the bad guy lol
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
