Fighting my way out of the dark - Part 8

[Holding]

Continuing to work on boundaries with XW.

I just got a message from her asking about a scheduling issue. It was fairly reasonable, and I was about to agree to it. But at the end of the message she said she would not sign the D decree until I responded to her request. That's a big nope for me.

My response simply said I will not respond to messages that include ultimatums.

That's all she has left with me - threats and ultimatums. I think that may be a sign of progress. My friends tell me I have to hold firm and she'll eventually get tired of it.

Other stuff:

S15 was with me this weekend while S11 went with XW on a camping trip. I got to spend time with him, talking and watching TV together, which was nice. He's been encouraging me to learn the piano, so I actually sat down this weekend with the book he bought me and got started.

We had to face the Sunday School issue again. S15 still said he didn't want to go, and that he wasn't sure this is something he believed in. I told him I wouldn't force him to go, but I would be discussing this with his mother. I've decided I won't be forcing it on him any more. XW can deal with the fallout. And she can balance that against her hypocritical accusation that I'm braking my promise to raise him in the church.

Looking back on my sitch and my attempt at DB'ing, I can see how I let my anger taint everything. I was way too cold and distant. I had hoped I would be like TxHubby, but it didn't work out that way for me.

I've been thinking about the M we had. I get a little sad that it's over. In my head I've painted this mental picture of XW as vile, cruel, selfish, and downright horrible. I think she's actively tried to show that side of herself to me, for some reason. In any case, I wonder if she ever has moments of humanity. I hope she still does, for my children's sake.