I've also seen a lot of people talk about being caught up in an inappropriate relationship after BD, I know for me I fell hard and fast for a woman I used to work with. We didn't have any kind of R but we would of if I hadn't found out she was M; we just went through the thousands of texts, calls, messages, etc." When I found out she was M, it was the hardest thing to tell her that it all had to stop, and took me a few tries to actually quite her.
I tried to leave a couple of times, but she pulled me back in. I grew to love her. I still think we could have made it.
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I'm curious as to what happened the day everything came crashing down with BPG, but it's your life to share or not. When you said that you felt more of a connection with her than anyone else, save for 1, I'm assuming you're referring to HQ and if so, good on you for where you are now.
Long story. But I'll make it short and sweet. See, I'm 47. When I first saw her I about tripped over myself. Perfect woman, appearance-wise. Maybe shorter than what I'm used to - she was 5'1" - but she was an athlete through and through. Very beautiful - one of those types you put up on the wall and take down every now and then and look at. Extremely gorgeous, inside and out. Since I was 46 at the time, I found out she was 27 at the party. I had to get to know her. So I fibbed about my age, thinking if I were 5 years younger, she'd not mind it as much. Turns out that was the least of my worries. She actually likes older men - I'm in great shape with salt n pepper hair (along with some brown) - because that's pretty much what her family knows...the husbands are all much older than their wives.
But, the downfall was this - she, as I, hates liars. Period. I never expected us to make it to the level we did. I never expected each of us to love each other, but we did. I wanted to tell her for so long but each time I got the nerve up, I chickened out for fear of losing her. That Friday after that last night I spent with her, her soon to be ex husband told her how old I was. She defended me as only a person truly in love would...and when she asked if it were true, with tears in her voice, I admitted it. That was the straw. She questioned everything then and rightly so. Had I not lied I'm sure things would be different. Lesson learned.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
