Flying Blind

[Coconut]

Wow, your description makes me want to feel that again.. I agree that most of us go through a long phase of self righteousness after BD, the fact is that by the time an A happens there is generally a lot of unhappiness by both parties in the M, and for me, all I had left was "I was unhappy too, but I didn't cheat".

I've also seen a lot of people talk about being caught up in an inappropriate relationship after BD, I know for me I fell hard and fast for a woman I used to work with. We didn't have any kind of R but we would of if I hadn't found out she was M; we just went through the thousands of texts, calls, messages, etc." When I found out she was M, it was the hardest thing to tell her that it all had to stop, and took me a few tries to actually quite her.

I understand how easy an emotional connection can start and flourish, and it took me a month or two to start getting past what had occurred with my ex and OM; but what really got me was her inability or refusal to refocus on us and the M after BD; her continual lies/deceit/blaming, etc., that's when my hate for OM dissipated and my anger manifested towards her. I still feel self righteous in a way, but not because I didn't cheat, but because I was willing to do anything I could to move past it and rebuild.

I'm curious as to what happened the day everything came crashing down with BPG, but it's your life to share or not. When you said that you felt more of a connection with her than anyone else, save for 1, I'm assuming you're referring to HQ and if so, good on you for where you are now.