Holding thanks. I guess one way I've been looking at it is through the lens of "believe nothing they say and half of what they do". Snooping let's me see the 1/2 of what she is doing that is too be believed. I know sandi2's rule is not to do it, but that is more from the perspective you gave. After all, can you say you really detached if you still care about what she does?
But then there is the side for using what you find as a way of getting out of denial. I've flirted with denial for the last 2 months. "This isn't her." "She isn't like this." "She is just going through something/a MLC." "It is the antidepressants." Etc.
Seeing her activity upfront and personal lets me say "No this is who she is!" People are how they behave. So that knowledge helps stamp the LBS out of the fog of denial.
But you are right, it really benefits no one. You know the WW's heart is elsewhere. Whether that is in a singing app, OM, porn, wanting to live the GGW lifestyle, etc, it doesn't really matter. All of that are symptoms of a deeper problem of the heart.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
