Reframe, I suggest you do nothing for the anniversary. Since she hasn't shown any signs she wants to turn things around, anything you do for the anniversary is really a form of pursuit.
How long are you looking to stay at your mother's house? The space you need is more long term than just a week or two.
That's true. In fact when we discussed it a week or two ago she didn't make any suggestions, so it does feel like pursuit to do anything now.
She also discussed needing space, and that we might need longer than a week or two. I had offered to go stay at my mom's then, but she pointed out that she's still be surrounded by our lives.
Yesterday, I was looking at that as an escape from limbo, I snooped (Bad I know) and found that she was still intending to move out when she was able, and likely on D - I spent the rest of the day reeling and was desperate for an escape from the limbo.
Today I'm feeling a bit better. Realizing that what she plans on doing now may well change before anything changes physically, and that I need to move on mentally and try to detach. It also seems like she's working extra hard to convince herself D is the right option, despite being scared and still really enjoying my company and support. I suspect that moving out for a week or two isn't going to change anything - and doing it as an attempt to manipulate is a mistake.
I'm working on the GAL part, but I'm clearly not detached, and that's always something I've struggled with in relationships.
Balancing the total non-pursuit with "speaking her love language" (as Chuck suggested) is also really tough.
Me, H-39, W-33 T11, M3 No children Bomb 10/17 - "Not sure what she wants" Bomb 2 12/17 - forced convo it did not go well. W moved out 3/18 OM Confirmed 4/1 D Final 9/27/18
