Update: In early January we reconnected and even talked about her moving back in. After a few weeks she felt too much pressure so now she doesn't want to see me at all. She has recently offered to come back to the house to pick up her remaining items and I told her that she can do whatever she likes, she will anyhow. She doesn't seem to understand why I'm so upset. When I explained that I will never be able to retire after paying the lawyers and that I will never have a mate because I don't believe in divorce, she says that I'm being silly. Then she offered to help me find a new girl because I'm such a great guy. That was the last straw. So I'll be broke, alone and miserable. So what
You are focusing on the wrong things. We all get to low points through this, I get it. But you need to be 180ing. You need to not react so strongly to what she says and does. The "I'll help you get a new girl" thing is her guilt talking. I would advise the LRT. Go dark. Don't engage her. Ignore her texts and VMs. Don't answer her calls. If she shows up where you live, be kind, attentive, and validating, but aloof and detached.
It is hard work, but it will payoff in 1 of 2 ways: getting her to see she is losing you and wanting to come back, or helping you move on healthily.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
