Flying Blind

[Dawgs]

I have a confession to make. Some of you will remember me talking about Birthday Party Girl (BPG). Well, that was a long, convoluted story that lasted much longer than it should have. I kept this hidden and only a select few know of this story, but I need to get it off my chest.

I became what we all hate in here. Yes, the OM. Our exes cheated and we were so self righteous about it. Stood on our high horse and quick to condemn them and belittle them to any who would listen. Maybe Terrill was a lesson for me - and one I'm going to share with you.

See, it didn't start out that way. When I met and starting talking with BPG, she said they were separated. Turns out they were still married. The first time I laid eyes on her was at the school Christmas party back in 2016, said a few hi's and small talk. I remember thinking that this is one gorgeous woman. She was much younger than me, 27 at the time. But a few months later, the birthday party came along. We talked the entire time and honestly I don't remember anyone else being there. I gave her my number but she never called. Then the school Easter party came along and she was there. We talked more. It's like we'd known each other forever. We got along better than anyone I've ever experienced, save one. I asked her to lunch. She said no.

Then, later that month, there was another school function. This time my ex wife was there to see the kids. BPG was jealous. We talked forever and sort of left the ex by herself. She called me King Arthur because I was persistent. And I called her my Guinevere. Somehow that statement made her eyes light up. She friended me on Facebook. Then the conversations took off - thousands of texts, emails, and calls - we talked all the time. The more we talked, the more we found we had in common. She was my parallel - it soon became obvious that there was more than just a little connection.

I remember that day she first came to my house. We talked for an hour in the driveway. There was a tension there that was undeniable. She was standing just close enough that if one of us had made a move then, the gates would have burst open. She stood there looking up into my eyes, and me into hers. Nothing was said. I don't know how long we stood like that, but it was forever and yet it was a second. Then we started talking.

Time passed and she came over more and more. Every day. That's when I found out she was married - she confessed it to me, along with her love for me. Her marriage was ending (I found that out to be a fact later). By then, I was in too deep. My heart opened for her. So we kept on.

Then one day we crossed the line permanently. I remember the first time we made love. The passion between us was so great that it was like we couldn't get any closer. And I remember how we couldn't get enough of each other, even though we were in the middle of amazing sex.

She was like a drug. I couldn't get enough of her and loved her strongly. Almost on the HQ level.

I can remember that Saturday we were laying in bed. She was laying on top of me with her face so close to mine that I could count every freckle and trace every line. We were just talking - and we talked of marriage. We talked of how our kids got along so great - her oldest son is my son's best friend. She wanted to get her tubal reversed so we could have another kid. Gawd I loved her. Honest.

I also remember the day our affair broke. That was a horrendous day. Even though her Mom and family knew - and my family - no one else did. The world collapsed. Yet we stayed strong. She had to flee for her life. He was put in jail.

Our last night together in her new apartment is one that burns in my mind. I didn't know it would be the last day that I'd see her again. I can remember it so vividly. We were in bed and she were laying on my shoulder. And we talked about how finally it was real and in the open between us. And we talked about getting married. Little did she know that I had secretly been planning a trip to Sevierville...a trip to celebrate our "official" togetherness. She told me she was madly in love with me and that finally found the one who made her whole.

Then the next day happened. The day that everything came crashing down. The day I lost BPG. I fully believe that we could have made it. But, it is what it is.

So, you see, as much as we want to hate the OP, sometimes things happen for a reason and a lesson. My lesson? I judged too much. I don't think that the saying that there is a right/wrong time for a love to come into one's life is true - had I not made those mistakes, BPG and I would still be here.

*All this was before HQ came back.