In this regard, I have another question: In phases where I am quite successful with my LRT, I realize certain effects on my H. At first, he gets more relaxed and friendly. After a while however, seeing me upbeat and not pursuing him or initiating relationship talks, he seems to feel uncomfortable and blames me that I wouldn't take his wish to separate seriously that I would pretend normality where there isn't and that I would sit out separation. In a way, he expects that I have to do actions to press ahead with separation. Isn't this his job?
Yes it is his job. And you should do NOTHING to help him. The emotions he is going through related to your LRT are classic. It is driven by fear. Not fear of losing you but losing control over you. Your LRT and GAL are showing him he has no control over you, especially the control he used to have. Keep it up. He will either finally come to his senses or give up. My guess is the former, but you have to make sure before you give up on the LRT.
Originally Posted By: Gisela
Maybe I shouldn't reflect too much on his reactions and simply move on. But I cannot ignore if he confronts me with such strange reactions and I need to have an idea how to answer instead of being lost for words.
Great advice on the words to use that will show validation, but still emotional detachment. You are right, you shouldn't reflect so much (hard to do) but you definitely should react so much (a little easier but still hard). Read that thread. Put those phrases into place. Do not be emotional at all when you say the words to him (no anger, fear, sadness, etc).
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
