I'm curious - what do you think brought her back home? I mean, if she was living with her parents and OM was coming over and everything was hunky dory, why did she return? Doesn't sound like her parents were pressuring her to go back home.
Now you don't have control over whether she contacts OM. And you made it pretty clear that you have boundaries. If she said she'd go to counseling with you then find a good one, make the appointment and hire the sitter.
Meanwhile - right now is your opportunity to show her all your changes. Be the bigger person. Show her you can stop being the angry guy you were in your marriage. Show her you are the best dad on the planet. Show her what the marriage could be like if she commits to it.
