DH has a good side and that side I absolutely love. But the other side has destroyed us. I’m not sure we can recover or should. I'm the problem according to DH. If I would not to this, that, or the other than he would not accuse, yell, disrespect, or have tons of hostility.
This is the first time a counselor (kid’s counselor) has asked DH to work instead of asking me to be more accommodating due to his previous failed marriages and problem childhood.
He was asked about his trust of me and involving the kids. He said he did not trust me in any way, shape, or form. He again accused me of having an affair reason he does not trust - either past, present, or both. He then stated trust has to be earned.
The counselor then said we needed to make a decision. Did I want to be with someone who does not trust me? Did he want to be with someone he hasn't trusted in years (according to him)?
I stated that was a fair question and does need answering. He stated he would let me know when trust has been earned and until then he could not make a decision one way or the other.
By the weekend, he came over to help me wash my car. I asked about the conversation we had with the counselor. He stood by all he stated in the session. I said I would not wait forever. He was getting agitated and made up an excuse as why he would not hug this time and left.
Later he texted saying since I gave him an ultimatum, to go ahead and do what I got to do because that’s what I really want. He will not stand in my way. So now, he is back to old silent treatment. He asked teens how I am doing but did not text me. So I responded I’m great. It is like who is going to contact whom first.
This is so confusing, one minute DH is talking as if he wants to come home but wants me to beg or ask. Then when he is upset, he says goodbye, I can divorce him, or I can go home to parents (when we were in same home).
I love my DH but feel it may be time to pull the plug because we have been struggling for so long. Over five years. Not only have I been accused of cheating but also of not being a good mother or good wife. So we can't really get close and loving with hostility around all these issues.
