It's obvious that your H is still somewhere in his own world. Let him be! Drop any kind of pursuit, don't try to make him care for the children unless he is willing too, because he is not the best example for them right now, may be later after reflecting on his situation. Like us, we need to detach from them, they need to detach from us.
Right now, he is blaming you for what's wrong in his life, once you will be out of it, he will finally be able to see things clearer. It takes a few months for that process to happen.
Your priority right now is your children, they need a strong mother so you are going take care of yourself mentally (yoga, relaxation, counseling, medication or whatever works for you) and physically (sleep, eating right, exercising..)
Yes, they are going to be impacted by that D but children are resilient when given the right support and example. When I was a mess, my children were a mess (depression/hospitalization...) and when I started to climb out of that deep hole, they followed me, they are now doing very well.
Be strong! By the way, it's Ok to cry and be angry, don't internalize those negative feelings, express them, write here, talk to someone or start a blog... You need to grieve your marriage and your past expectations, don't try to bury them otherwise you will never find peace or move really forward.
Remember you are a human being, so you are not perfect and it's OK to have ups and downs in the same hour.
Don't forget to have fun, look for the good/positive side of any situation! You can now organize your life YOUR OWN WAY.
Find a good friend willing to listen to you every day, that's a lifesaver!
Just keep in mind that your mission is to raise those kids and they need a fun/loving/strong/determined mom.
((((HUGS)))
Me 52+ WH 57+ Married 20 + Piecing since 2016 (ready to give up...)
