Wife on antidepressants, acting strange!

[MoveFrwd]

Thanks, I agree with everything you say. I've even talked to her about this. She claims that she wants no real relationship with anyone.

Maybe start with the rule about "not believing anything she says"...
It isnt really about OM. Its about the needs that she is looking to get filled. Somehow, she is in a position where going on this app for some sort of validation. Dont take that she isnt looking for a new relationship to mean that she is invested in yours.

That the "flirting" online she has engaged in recently is more just fulfilling a need to flirt without the pressure or expectation of it going any further since she has chosen to engage in that with these guys that live so far away.

And thats.....somehow....OK? I mean,are you ok that your wife hangs out for hours a day on a phone app chatting with who knows how many other people?

When I pointed out that they didn't have two nickels to rub together and therefore are in no position to be a "branch to support her". She quickly came back with that she isn't looking for anyone to take care of her. That getting her own job and getting her own apartment is how she is going to take care of herself. Again, she is taking no action towards doing any of that.

Because.....shes lying? To you and herself probably. Who would want to go out and do all of those things, when she has the best of both worlds right now? Youre there as a safety net she has "resigned" herself to be with. And in the meantime, she can peruse the who knows how many other guys out there in case theres a 'better offer'. That doesnt sound like a woman that wants to be with you. Is that a marriage youre content to live in for the rest of your life?

So yes she is WW, but not in the same way so many others here seem to be dealing with. Maybe it was because I caught it early? (As I've stated in earlier posts in this thread.) Maybe if I had remained oblivious I would have been slammed in the face with the reality that she had found another branch to jump too.

Its not that it's early. Its that she hasnt found a real OM yet. Right now, its mostly imaginary. She sounds plenty wayward to me.

We've had discussions about the app in the last few days. The thing is that it does make her happy to sing, and I can't really tell her I want her to be happy and not want her to use the app. She claims that her time spent on the app is 95% just singing, and she can handle the 5% that is the social side without crossing any lines.

Nobody "needs" to spend 5 hours singing into an app on their phone to be 'happy'. Are you serious with that? There are plenty of healthy singing outlets. Tell her to go take lessons or a class or fill your home with music. Isolating herself to sing with other people on the internet is NOT ABOUT THE SINGING. If you made her choose between you and the app, what do you think she would pick?