Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 12, D on hold

[PsySara]

Tonight WH comes home and requests a talk for 10 mins after the kids go to bed. I agree and go about the evening routine. I sit on the couch and he sits across the room on the chair (something I've requested him not to do, he mumbles and it is frustrating to ask him to repeat himself.)

WH, "So I was at work today with a lot of emotions going through my head and I've decided I am not interested in this marriage."

Me,".....blink."

WH, "I am going to let my parents know this week once the paperwork is filed."

Me "Yeah, I agree which is why I will speaking with my lawyer this week and getting everything started again."

WH "You've said that before."

Afterward we discussed where he would live (close by, preferably where the kids could still be at the same bus stop and maybe even walk between houses.) Also I brought up putting my own cell phone in my name as well as car insurance. The convo left me sad and resigned. I had just completed a mandatory parenting class for divorce required in Fl. I look at my beautiful children and feel a sense of defeat, that no matter how hard I tried there was no reversing this course. I will make my children a statistic and exponentially raise their risk factors by divorcing this alien.

Forgive me my friends, I am not myself and probably won't be again for some time. I sometimes read the threads of others but don't participate as I feel like a hypocrite. So many times I fantasize about turning back the clock and picking someone different. Someone more authentic and deeply connected to themselves and make decisions based on goodness and kindness. Instead my children have an emotional cripple for a father, someone stuck in their early teens emotionally.

My babies, I am so sorry.