Your physician can prescribe something, if you can't sleep. Have you tried over the counter sleep-aides? Dramamine is for motion sickness, but it makes you very sleepy, and it is over the counter.

Remember what I said you would be experiencing for a while. Currently, you are doubting youself. You are replaying all the stuff she's said, over and over in your head. Next, you'll start beating yourself up b/c you'll buy into all the gas lighting things she told you...........if you don't stop it. Be your own best friend, Petri. Don't let yourself believe WW propaganda.

Another couple of books to add to your list: 1) Co-dependent No More, 2) The Superior Man

You are going to be just fine, Petri. You will get through this rough time, and you will come out being better than ever.

The board has had so many people to leave without us knowing whatever happened. However, we have seen several who did not stay in their M's to drop by to tell everyone they couldn't be happier, and they wanted to encourage those who felt there was no life after D. I'm not saying you will or won't go through D. I'm saying that there is life either way.

I don't want you to leave us, okay? You are very valuable to us, and to your family & friends. Not shutting yourself off from others, and making yourself get out of the house and go places will help you get through the bad times. Don't give in at moment of weakness and call your W. That would be mistake. Do you have a close male friend you can talk to sometimes?

One more thing. I talk a lot about male strength. My hero, which was my father, was the strongest man I've known. I saw him go through some really tough times. I thought he was courageous. I also discovered that when he grieved, he often cried in private. I doubt very many people would have thought that about him, b/c he was known as being a man's man. I guess what I am trying to tell you, is to allow yourself time to grieve, and even cry if it helps. (Just do your crying in private). And bear in mind that this feeling will not last forever. Things do get better.

((hugs))

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!