Welcome to our little world. I'm going to be posting some homework for you to read over.
You will discover that we utilize the same advice/suggestions, etc. for the WAW as we do for the MLCer. That advice includes: leave them alone, give them plenty of space and keep the focus on you and your family. If your wife is ignoring you, then stop attempting to communicate w/her. If she wants to talk to you, she'll do so. The more you try to communicate w/her, the more she's going to do the opposite of what you want. She knows that she's driving you up the wall by ignoring you, so do the opposite. When she sees that you aren't bothered by her behavior, she very well may start gravitating towards you.
How about giving us some additional info on your situation?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Welcome to the MLC Forum. You will meet people who are at various stages of dealing w/the fallout of their spouses being MIA. I am going to post below, Cadet's Welcome Posting. Please read the links and then come back and ask questions, if you should have any.
Keep this to yourself. DO NOT share this book or this site at all with your spouse. It is your playbook and not to be shared with the "opposing" team.
It is important to clear the search/browsing history from your computer on a daily basis to prevent the possibility for your WAS to stumble on the DB site and discover your posts here on DB. Erasing the search history will protect your posts and you as well.
Sorry you are here but you will meet some wonderful people here and get some great advice.
You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support)
I have read a good deal of books on the subject and can give you some suggestions when you are ready.
Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.
I will give you a bunch of homework assignments to read.
This POST is under reconstruction and we will be working on this as time goes by, this is the most current version.
Now you have all the tools to read. Let us know how your doing and if you have any questions.
I suggest that you read the entire thread in the resources. You can also pick out some people and read their whole story.
Depression is the key to the whole thing and it is always present!
Believe none of what he/she says and 50% of what he/she does.
I would not ask him/her anything unless you can have no expectations. Sometimes asking them questions will be thought of as pressure. You do not want to do anything that can be thought of by your H/W as controlling or pressure.
Lets not worry about him/her. Lets work on you! Start your homework assignments. Something to DO while you are on moderation. GAL. Eat, sleep, exercise and take a deep breath. In general take care of your self first.
Detach the single most important thing to DO.
Your H/W has given you a gift THE GIFT OF TIME use it wisely
Knowledge is Power - Sir Francis Bacon _________________________ Me-63, D30,S29
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thank you for all the great information. Been on the site before and read Michele’s book, implementing LRT, which has been effective. WAW and I have been married since 2014, and this is our second separation. First was for 3 months in 2016 while she was pregnant with our second. I have 2 from previous marriage and WAW has been a fabulous step mom. Second separation happened in August 2017. We spend time apart as my kids from previous marriage live in different state. Things have gotten better over the past few months, but slowly. Some days she is interested in having conversations, which is why I start to dialogue with her, and other times she is cold and rude to me. We continue to make future plans together like vacations, and I stay at the house for a week per month to spend time with the kids. We live with her parents who are stuck in the middle of the whole situation. Hope this helps explain things.
You stated that you were on this site before...as a member or a lurker? If you were a member, I'll try to find your last posting.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
So, you had a DB Coach previously, that means you most likely had a thread going. Do you want me to try to find your last thread and post the link here? It would be helpful to the readers to know more about your situation and if you are a "repeat" poster, then the old threads help us more than you think.
Also, you are on moderation for a couple of days, which means that when you post, a moderator has to approve your postings.
