Standing and fighting for M is what is core to DB.
We can bend ourselves like pretzels and blame ourselves for everything that's wrong. Let the other have their toys etc, such things are distractions, conditions for decent treatment.
If you did this, or did that, changed this, improved that then our OH will love us, change back. If you are patient or loving or cave in then they will......
At this point your old R is over and by working on you then you work towards a new R with your H or another.
This whole process is about YOU, knowing that which can be worked on and that which can't. Concentrate on you and your children, that includes taking care of your fins, getting great L advice, building boundaries, limits on behaviour you will allow.
Ju is giving you very sound views indeed, they come from valuable experience. How you look after you and your interests is important for your future health and well being. This is a long hard journey to save yourself because you are the important thing for yourself and your children.
And clearly there is inconsistency a timeshare you both regret, but you were in charge? He is trying to set you up.
To what extent does failure to manage fins contribute to this?
To what extent were you really in control of your fins? Have you sought the help of a financial adviser?
Will you really have some say in the toys that might be regretted by future purchases?
Have you sought L advice on what exactly would be the position if you split?
To what extent do 'toys' fill a hole in your and your H soul?
Do you treat yourselves with purchases?
I ask these questions because these are the ones that seem key in this fin area. You don't have to answer you can say "no V" and that's ok.
My thoughts are that reality bites and it's better now to know your position than to be in denial, L advice and IC might help.
There are of course other areas although this one just seems obvious to me.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
