New LBS - need advice, part deux

[marina7]

Apothem,
Yes I believe you, I honestly believe all LBS on here truly are in love with W/H. I am going on on a Year on April. Right after spring break literally we had an amazing time and this time around W through me a birthday party and wrote me a beautiful letter. I now look back and ask myself was this W last hoorah with me and kids as she knew she was exiting this marriage well let's say the family because my W walk out on me and kids for the first 3 months W even went M-I-A I was scared to call her but was worry so Text are you alive W said only YES. And then to find out she was traveling with OW to places we plan.

Am so glad I found this forum I have to say it feels like home as crazy it sounds I feel like am not alone or going crazy with the things W do. I see all of us W/H have the same patterns. I thought my W was the only W that abandon her kids or pick which kid she wanted and when I seen someone on here did the same thing with 5 kids I felt like I was not alone.

There's day I feel my world is crumbling I feel like what's the purpose and days I hate W and other days I feel so sorry for W because I can't imagine the turmoil W going through I just wish I could save W. But I know I can't all I can do is protect my kids from this Allien.

When ever you feel so down or you feel your going crazy read on here. Before surgery I would run in the morning I stop running over 10yrs ago now am at it agin after that run I would read for like an hr on here and honestly it made me feel a little better but some days worse and on those days I won't read. Therapy has saved me too I go twice a week and of course church. When days got dark I would get on my knees and pray.

I know we don't wanna here this but our chances of our W coming back is very little now you have to live life without W and if she comes back just know is going be hard work. I honestly thought at the beginning I could take W back now I say I wouldn't I could not imagine living in fear W will do this again W and I never question when going out now I'll be living in fear. So I couldn't do that to me or kids.

Another way the therapist said to me was if you get back with W your abusing your kids I said how my therapist replied emotionally your letting your kids be abuse is like your allowing your W to abuse them when she put it that way I knew my job is only to protect them and thats my job now. So I guess when there is kids involved is no longer what we want we have to take care of the little people.

Hang in there hun. And remember
A day at a time that's all we can do.