This morning she sends a text “Thanks for fixing the sink. Please don’t pretend like you want to work on anything with me though. You obviously can’t stand to even be around me.”
This is her gas lighting you trying to make you feel like the bad person.
A couple of questions on this.
Why did she start being nice to me and the kids? Was it something I said? Guilt? Lure me back in? Insanity? I initially thought that maybe she thought about what I said and decided to wade back in, but now I’m not so sure. Probably a little of all the above accept her wading back in. This will not happen while the A is going on.
She said a few things throughout the week that indicated she still had feelings. When she said that she didn’t throw away her birthday card, she also said that she WOULDN’T do that. Why wouldn’t she if we are through. Of course she has feelings for you. You are the father of her children. Don't mistake that for wanting to work on the marriage.
Why would she be thinking of the future with me by moving to another state? Is this just idle talk or a hint? Idle talk.
She told me to be careful driving. She hasn’t shown ANY concern for my health or safety since this all began. Why the momentary change of heart? Probably just force of habit. Slip up maybe.
Almost two weeks of niceness and back to venom? Is she mad that I skipped Valentine’s Day? It has never been a major thing for us – ever. Usually just exchange cards. Your'e mind reading which is pointless at this juncture.
During this time was she trying to tell me she wanted to talk and I missed it? She never once said she did, and all of our conversations were in front of and/or involved the kids. We never got close to the R subject in that time and never talked about anything personal. We were never alone at any time. Was she waiting for me to make a move? Not sure what you mean. A sexual advance?
Is this all part of the “normal” process? Nothing normal about this process at all.
I know that she is not the woman I M. Not even close. I can’t comprehend how she could change so much, but I am taking your word for it. I’m trying to understand it, but this is unlike anything I have ever seen.
Accuray, I know you have answered some of these questions in my previous post and I thank you. I am not discounting your answers in any way. Please keep answering my posts with your views as I do value them.
I would, however, like sandi’s views on this as well since she once walked the path my W is.
R,
There was a poster recently on here name Hermes. (check out his thread). His W was in an open A that he new about. He tried to nice his way back into the relationship, cleaned the house, bought her gifts, planned her business trips, ran her baths etc. Needless to say it did not end well for him. One of his last couple posts he wrote about his number one regret was that he didn't kick her cheating ass out of the house the minute he found out about the A.