Yep, HaWho. I know its upsetting and mind boggling to watch someone push away from family and responsibilities and then suddenly need the children as play mates. I think they see it as that...playmates.
Like you, I stayed home for years. I spent every day with my kids and had great times with them as well as trying times; it's not all fun and games. He saw the fun parts, though. He was a great dad on weekends...as long as the kids were doing what he was interested in. But XH did say he would trade positions with me gladly if I could bring in as much money as him.
Whatever. So he plays the cool uncle to other people's kids and tries to be Disney Dad to our own adult children. There's no responsibility there; just fun. And that seems to be part of the MLC. They need playmates; someone to make them happy, needed, and enjoyed. They need to feel worth and value as a person; not just as a working man. They need to not be weighed down with adult responsibility or weighty decisions and negative emotions. Stress. So...Disney Dad.
We are the parent. Our MLCer is the rebelling teen, out to have fun and double-middle fingers to our face if we put pressure on them or question their acts. They'll try to get the kiddos to align against the parent (just like in every kid movie) by being fun. Think, the Lost Boys of Peter Pan or Brando in The Wild One.
"What are you rebelling against?" "Whaddya you got?"
My kids are older. They have adult responsibilities. My oldest has a husband, three jobs plus a business with her H. Youngest works and has a boyfriend. He doesn't fully understand why they won't always play with him when he wants to play.
HaWho, you will get through this process. Your kids will see your stablity as the responsible parent they can turn to when times get heavy, and Disney Dad will be revealed to them. Let them enjoy their time with him. And make sure you have a little fun, too. Things will even out eventually.
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
