Hi Gordie. I've caught up on your situation and oh man, you've taken the hilly rocky fork in the road.

I was pleased to read that after weighing all the advice you've received both here and from other sources that you've made your own decision that you are if not comfortable with, are accepting of knowing full well (as well as anyone "could" know) what the impact of this will be.

It does seem that your W has been making some token efforts to do a "reset" on her recent actions and is finding those bridges burned down. One of your big challenges will to not be "marriage police" and to not try to fix things for her. She's a big girl and will do what she will do even if it means finding another OM or doing the hard work of rebuilding those bridges with her own two hands. She bounced off one of your boundaries - good on you for holding firm - but she's not recommitted to anything it would seem.

From a practical viewpoint I presume you've sorted out the apartment and suchlike? I don't recall, but you've separated finances and have control of the main purse strings I hope? You probably don't want to co-mingle them again. The reality is, and perhaps you could say this, is that you can't truly trust her at this point. Have you considered getting a post-nup based on your prior agreement set up? That way she'll know exactly what that border wall would be that she would have to climb over to leave. I'm not sure on the standard clauses and formats of those but I'm sure there are lots who can advise you on the best approach in your situation.

The reason I'm suggesting those moves is because you probably realize that the odds of her chasing off after the fairies again is pretty large. Any post-nup would not be a leash and collar on her, but a wall to protect Fort Gordie and the kids. As you may recall from things that people like job have written, the holiday season is a time for many MLCr's to pop out, look around and see their shadow. Now that it's past, you're back in for the long hard slog again.

We're all here rooting for you #TeamGordie #FortGordie


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells