Hoping this can be saved, but having doubts

[reframe]

LH19 -

I'm not longer actively pursuing physical affection, I'm leaving that to her.

W.r.t the feeling that it's my fault. We all her our insecurities. My wife's is not being good enough, my own revolve around messing up my relationships.
I know (sometimes that this isn't a rational way to feel).

That said, I did a number of things wrong:
If you take a look at my intro - I was in IC when she had her latest round of health issues. I had been seeing an IC and starting to GAL then, and the wife was responding well to it - but I continued to GAL when she felt like she needed me. So (at least in her hindsight) I wasn't there for her.

I asked both her doctor and her therapist about our sex life too, and I think that was really hurtful to her in hindsight. She was going through some major health issues and I was still focused on that.

Things took a rapid downhill swing around then. She went from seeming fully on board and committed to me and our future together to where we are now.

I realize that ruminating on the past won't change it, but I'm still struggling with the feeling that if I'd just been patient and supportive we wouldn't be in this mess now.