Gordie #17: deliberately not divorced

[Gordie]

Mach:

What IS your plan for yourself in the future ??

G: I don’t have a plan and am trying to live one day at a time. I am trying to be happy irrespective of my M status. I am neither M not D right now and trying to be happy in that place.

M: And I know that you said that you are "taking the pressure off" of her..Are you doing it to induce a reaction from her ??

G: I am not trying to get a reaction from her. I am going against my ingrained desire for pursuit and wanting to show her how much I love her.

Mach:

Or because you are seriously tired of her bulllsiht and you are ready to just live your life...

???

G: You know what I’m really tired of? I am tired of never being enough for her. She always finds fault with me.

Mach:

What if you were to "just be" for a while...

Focus on you, and just lived as if everything was fine ??

Because you know what Gordie ?

Everything WILL be just fine..

Whether you remained married or not, YOU will be just fine...

G: thanks for the reminder. Yes, I am trying to be in this space right now. To just be. It feels a little weird. I don’t feel fine.

M: Do YOU want to be defined, as a Man, by your current situation and struggles ???

Do you wanna be sitting at the retirement home in 10 ? years , having other old peeps tell the newbs....

Thats just Gordie. He is still angry over his Divorce a few years ago...

OR...


You still have some major issues that YOU haven't addressed within yourself...

Why not take this time, work through them, and THEN see whats on the other side ??

You cannot lead from the back of the pack buddy....

G; No, I do not want to be that guy. Yes, I’ve got issues. I think I have been more focused on fixing the M and yes, I need to spend more time fixing me.

To be continued...