Now that he is filled with anger over not getting what he needed from me and then feeling betrayed when he did start to see changes in me that I am the wife he had desired, he is just checked out.
I was controlling at times.
He is rewriting history in that he feels he was trying to be someone else when he married me and now that parts of the real him are poking through I have rejected those... and its true and not true.
We had a quarrel about a year ago about having a deer head trophy hung and I said not my house. That was so wrong of me and I have since admitted that was terrible of me and he can hang a trophy anywhere he chooses. I never expected to have a deer head trophy in my house but he lives here too and it should feel like a home he wants to be in.
He has really come into his own with hunting. He watches so many shows and said he really wanted to butcher his own deer and I said no to that too. I just pictured the mess - I'm the primary home cleaner. I enjoy it comes from the butcher in nice neat packages we just pop in the freezer. I apologized for my faux pax there as well. I told him it was wrong. That I wasn't supporting his growth and my job as a wife is to help him become that true person he is. The next deer he would butcher here.
I prayed he would be successful this season and have his trophy so I could prove to him I meant it. I knows he feels this all too little too late. I love that my husband is an outdoorsman. I love that he is into motorcycles and wish he would have just went out and bought that Harley. I've sniffled my husband.
His first marriage was troubled early on but he stayed for the kids. She refused to work. She didn't keep a clean house. Slept 18hr a day. He was the sole provider and was taking care of the kids. He planned his departure over 5 years while she slowly attending one class at a time before getting her nursing degree. I think had she gone to work right away he may have stayed but she insisted after all those years in school for a 2yr degree she needed to take off 3months for a summer break before looking for a job. Once employed he left. She frequently with held his kids. He would show up for visitation and she would take off with them. Even years into our marriage she filed yet another restraining order which took 3 months to get into the court system and thrown out - but that was 3months he didn't see his kids at all. Lots of drama over the years.
Its so weird. My husband is finally a calm man in regards to all the kids and his ex-wife. Its peace I've been hoping for and I finally have it. Family dinners at the table area fun and relaxing. But, I lost my husband. In the last 3 months since this all hit he is further from me than ever.
