Trauma bonding. I did not know that term but it fits so well regarding my 2 past relationships. With my ex, trauma feels like a better term. EX was detached, did not work as a partner, lied about finances but it doesnt feel like abuse. But definitly trauma.
Im now in the process of letting go from the trauma. I dont feel attached to my ex, i never knew him. But definitly to the trauma. Friends have pointed out to me how unhealthy it is. I do get triggers.
V, thank you for giving me the vocabulary for what i am holding on to. It makes more sense. And i have been trying for so long to make sense of things.
On a side note. I feel so positive about my new relationship. He just has done everything right. I am being courted and it is so so so nice. This was the best valentines day ever for me. Jewelry, we celebrated twice at 2 restaurants. He likes to talk and spend time with me. we seem to want the same things regarding future. He wants some one to grow old with. Many men at this age dont. And hes funny, down to earth, and shares similar morals.
