Nice guy Syndrome!

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Thanks Sandi2 for your reply. Your perspective is truly enlightening. I‘ve been reading it over and over to try and understand what my W went through. And yeah, for her it was hell. For me it was too, but in the heat of the moment it came across as nagging.

I hope you didn't tell her you chose to side with her b/c you wanted to sleep with her. That would not be wise. She doesn't want to be number one in your life b/c of sex. She wants you to love her above all others. You can still love your family, but show your loyalty to her as long you are living together.

No, I never said that to her. It’s something I came across Dr.Phil said about taking sides with your mom over your W. In principle you want to continue to have a solid relationship with your W, and in such if you want to keep sleeping next to your W, you better back her up.

Today was interesting in that my W asked me this morning if I wanted to come by for dinner because my son wanted to know if I’d be by for dinner. She asked if I was available, or if I already had plans. I felt like she was really trying to see if I had plans on Valentines Day. Maybe/maybe not.

Had a session with my telephone coach yesterday. With regards to putting in place a formal S agreement, I feel it’s necessary not only for my own good, but also to give my W a dose of reality. Will provide some options including Bird’s Nest custody as its likely the best option for the kids so they’re not moving back and forth each week between mom and dad’s places. Despite the fact that she’s brought up the need to formalize the separation, i think she’ll take it extremely hard. Not sure what the reaction will be.

With regards to the OM situation, I’m keeping that to myself. Exposing may have dire consequences or embolden her to move forward with something that is built on lies. It’ll likely fizzle out over time.