I remember our first Valentine's Day as a married couple. I bought her a gift, took her to a very expensive, fancy restaurant. Really made it a special night for her.
That night she made it clear she wasn't in the mood.
It's interesting the way you phrase this. As if you [i]deserved[i] physical intimacy after doing all that effort. Even though you say that the night was for her, you ended the night disappointed because you didnt get what you want. To me, this is typical "nice guy" behavior...which really isnt all that nice. It's putting uncommunicated expectations in place and then getting mad when they arent met. Have you looked into these tendencies?
I get that physical intimacy is an important part of a marriage. And I know MWD has written books on working through those types of issues. Maybe consider reading those as well.
Originally Posted By: Steve85
As you can see, overtime I began to pull back the non-sexual affection, reassurances, etc. Overtime I fell into a place where I was hurt, angry, frustrated and resentful.
Right. You punish her for not meeting your expectations....in that hope that it.....makes her WANT to be more intimate with you? Do you see how backwards that logic is?
Originally Posted By: Steve85
The problem for me is she response positively (I know I shouldn't be reading her reactions) to both the Mort Fertel methods (talk charges, touch charges, date nights) as well as the 180 method. So it is confusing to me to try to tread. I think next week I will renew my efforts at pulling back, letting go, GAL, and moving on.
You have got to pick something and stick to it. How can you possibly merge a method which sounds like pursuit with a different method focusing on stopping pursuit? I dont know anything about the other author, but my feeling is that if she is not interested in being with you right now, then increasing your touch and talking with her is only going to push her away.
