Fighting my way out of the dark - Part 8

[Holding]

And a little update on the issue of boundaries:

XW sent me a message asking if I would be willing to permanently alter our agreed upon parenting schedule by switching which weeks we have (for example, if she would have had next week, it would go to me, and then we would resume alternating from there). Her issue is that I will get the 1st and 3rd weekends in the month, which doesn't work for her for some reason.

I thought about this and came to the conclusion that she was trying to fix a temporary problem (scout campouts? meeting with OM? traveling for work?) with a permanent solution. Also, her reason makes no sense in the long run if you look at a calendar.

I responded that I was not willing to make a permanent change to the schedule we agreed upon in mediation. But I was willing to trade weekends or whole weeks if there was a particular issue.

Her response: "I'm disappointed to hear that. I will keep that in mind the next time you ask to switch."

I did not respond. So now she is basically threatening me.

I was talking to a coworker about this, and she said this is a classic example of gaslighting. XW tried to make it seem like I was the one being unreasonable, when I clearly stated I was open to switching here and there if there were conflicts.

It's getting hard to see XW as anything other than a full blown narcissist. In her view, none of the rules apply to her, but she is all too happy to make up new rules that apply to me.

I get mad at myself for letting such a toxic person into my life. For having children with her, who are now saddled with the nature/nurture burden she's handed them. Then I realize I'm going to have to forgive myself for that eventually.