Gordie #17: deliberately not divorced

[Gordie]

Butterfly—thanks. No Valentine’s gift. I have something small in case I need to reciprocate something. You are right and never apologize for being direct. Yes, she’s been clear that she doesn’t know what she wants. I am focusing on myself and my journey. I am reading one of the books on the recommended reading list. It is a self help book about letting go of fear. This is not my kind of book at all but I am reading through it slowly and trying to absorb the wisdom it is trying to impart. I think it overly simplified things but maybe I over complicate things?

SBJ—thanks brother. I have been busy with work and kids and gym and some other personal interests. I am continuing to teach Sunday school which is a blessing to me (and hopefully the kids too). My faith journey is my own. I converted to get married so this has been...complicated. There is a story in the Gospels about one spouse being taken up and the other left behind. The point of that story to me now is that we each have our own faith journey separate from our spouse.

Job/Kyh—trying that approach tonight. Kids and I can have fun and she can participate...or not. Yes, she needs to focus on her issues...I didn’t break her and I can’t fix her. I keep reminding myself of that.

Sotto—you are exactly right. We are not actively rebuilding anything. And yes, this could go in any direction and then another and another. You are never harsh. Yes, she is not my life partner right now. I don’t depend on her or ask her for anything. However, she is still dependent on me and asks me for things. Is that just cake serving?

Hawho—you are so right. I hate having those walls up around my heart but it seems the way I have to be now. I am living independently. She is no longer my best friend. I talk to my friends about my life. I talk to her more as my children’s mother but not my friend.

DNJ—got the backup gift. Great idea!

Cali—I love that perspective. She is an extended family member.

Sotto and Butterfly—o man, pressure is on to bake cookies. I haven’t done that in years. Maybe it’s time to put on that apron.