Wife on antidepressants, acting strange!

[SteveLW]

So a little more info:

My wife has done a lot of revisionist history related to our marriage.

We have been together for 21 years. Married for 19 in April. To hear her talk it has been terrible the whole time. Never mind taht she pursued me hard, wanted to (and would have) got married at the 6 month dating mark, and had journals full of how much she loved me and wanted to spend the rest of her life with me.

The big sticking point in our marriage was sex. She had no sex drive pretty much right after the wedding. Yes I was affectionate, attentive, gave reassurances, went on dates, etc. Nothing worked.

I remember our first Valentine's Day as a married couple. I bought her a gift, took her to a very expensive, fancy restaurant. Really made it a special night for her.

That night she made it clear she wasn't in the mood.

As you can see, overtime I began to pull back the non-sexual affection, reassurances, etc. Overtime I fell into a place where I was hurt, angry, frustrated and resentful.

But even through that we had our daughter. We worked on the marriage at times. I was distant at times as my needs were met, but then again so was she.

We still often laughed, cried, shared, etc. Just rarely did it lead to physical intimacy.

Things got better for a time after her emotional affair in 2005 (can't remember if I mentioned that). We renewed efforts to rebuild our relationship. But in the 12 1/2 years since have fallen back into some similar patterns (lack of physical intimacy from her, pulling back on the emotional intimacy from me).

Still, I would have said we had a fairly good relationship. We don't argue a lot. Usually discuss things of importance. True she had really slipped from her normal stay-at-home chores (housework, laundry, etc) as she got more and more involved with the online singing app and social gaming apps. And that caused me to get bigger and critical when I would come home from work and begin to do what needed to be done. I would make comments under my breath, or do the chores in an angry, passive-aggressive way.

But still, I never expected the bomb she dropped on 12/23/2017. And we have been in a resistant recovery ever since.

The problem for me is she response positively (I know I shouldn't be reading her reactions) to both the Mort Fertel methods (talk charges, touch charges, date nights) as well as the 180 method. So it is confusing to me to try to tread. I think next week I will renew my efforts at pulling back, letting go, GAL, and moving on.

But since has started to make positive moves (giving up the apps, and presumably the connections she shouldn't have had), I don't want to thwart that.

I just not sure what the right approach is.