Peter, you put too much weight on getting rid of the retirement home and too much hope that your marriage would dramatically improve just because of that. Your wife hasn't done ANY work to 'clean up her side of the street'. No, you shouldn't have hired an escort. You should have filed for divorce a long time ago.
Me: 35 husband:39 Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage Twins 5 (boy/girl) Daughter 3 Affair bomb 2/27/14 He moved in with ow 3/13/14 OW kicked him out 6/15/14 4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction