Her hormones have been all over the map. She has seen a specialist recently, and she became a lot more reasonable to converse with. But this is post-separation. I should add that she also deals with ups and downs of depression and anxiety. Her anxiety got worse as we got closer to the separation date. She was falling apart in front of my eyes and I didn't know what to do to bring her back. As this was happening, it made matters even more difficult to try to improve intimacy.
Originally Posted By: sandi2
As for as her giving you the garden variety of excuses to S..........it makes me question what was in her heart. Holding resentment and disrespect toward her H is the foundation of a wayward mindset. Considering her physical issues, the children, and you being a man with NGS.........it's not hard to imagine how that could take seed and grow. The sad truth is that we women won't just come out and tell our H how we have resentment we can't get past. Many women won't admit they no longer feel attracted to their H, much less admit they have lost respect for him. Most women will complain, and talk about different things the H is not doing.......but they don't resolve the real issues at the bottom of it all.
She had a lot of resentment towards me not taking her side with family issues with my mother and sisters. I tried to see things from both perspectives. I definitely know now that this was a huge mistake. At the end of the day I want to sleep with my W, not my mother/sister, so the only side to take was my Ws. I know that now, have apologized, and have made amends that she recognizes. But my W is an expert at putting up a wedge between her and anyone who wrongs her. Friends, extended family members, her immediate family, doesn't matter. She has grudges that end with her putting up a wall. She probably would have done that to me too, but I'm her kids father and she financially depends on me.
She surely still holds resentment towards me for what she says ended our marriage (even though she asked for the separation). She says we were suppose to be together, then I gave up on her. She's angry at me for that and has said that she resents me for it. She says that when we get into an argument, that I make her feel like she's nothing. She'll say this even when having a calm discussion over a contentious subject. She escalate things to push buttons, or start crying saying she's afraid I'll get angry. I feel like she goes there to manipulate the conversation from going the way she doesn't want it to go. Talks in circles to the point you don't know how you got there. Very insecure.
覧覧覧覧覧覧覧覧覧 Married: 12 Together: 14 Me:41 W:42 S:11 S:8 Bomb dropped 2/2014 I moved out 5/2014 No formal separation Discovered A: 1/2018
