Sandi, thanks. Wow you nailed everything pretty much on the head. Funny you mention being a Christian W, since both my wife and I are devout Christians in a very conservative church. Which makes this all the more difficult as I am dealing and coping without much support in order to try to help her save face. I think having to rebuild her standing in the church would be an obstacle to great for her to bear, and she wouldn't be able come back to the M if she has too much work to do.

She is a runner. She will run away from conflict and people she disappoints every chance she gets. She doesn't handle stress well, and feels that once she disappoints a person there is no way to rebuild solid footing. Which is a lot of our problems. I think part of it is that she holds grudges herself. So she assumes others can't get over past grievances either. (I know, antithetical to Christian doctrine of sin and forgiveness.)

She does seem to have recognized her problem and does seem to want to correct it. However, she still has this tug of wanting what she wants, regardless of whom it hurts. Wayward for sure. I think I caught it before it was full on scorched earth, but she has set up so many fantasy for what her future life can be that she can't seem to want to face the truth of reality.

And the turning 50 next month seems to be a big sticking point for her as well.

Depression and ADs + Wayward + Midlife Crisis + an Imperfect H (it sounds I am very similar to the way you H was) = PERFECT STORM

Sometimes I wonder if it is too much to overcome? Anyone know how long a typical female MLC lasts? I have begun to change the Imperfect H (in fact last week she said I have been being awesome lately). I am hoping she will wean off the ADs, and that will help with the waywardness IF we can keep her depression in check.

Why does this all have to be so difficult?!?

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018