Picking up Her MESS #2

[marina7]

Vanilla,
Hello been busy with Dr appointment had a serious spine surgery where they installed a pain stimulator through my back running down my spine,lately some issues with infection and battery that is place inside so Dr have me in antibiotics and in couple weeks back to operating room reopening back and rewiring and replacing batteries. In my kids words I am robo mom lol and there super "DAMA"

So Dama is a name my daugther gave to me when W and I lived together W was mommy and I am DAMA which mean I am like a dad but also a mom LOL. My Trio's say we have both worlds your a dad who makes sure we are ok you work hard you protect us and a mommy who makes sure we are ok,you cook you make sure we have clean cloths ECT. Well in my friends word I am a jack of all traits. But remembering now W hate that my kids thought so highly of me in my kids eyes I am simply perfect which W always grind her teeth or roll her eyes out I recall one day W rolling her eyes so bad I said make sure they don't roll out. W always says I am to attach to my kids and baby there A** to much.

Well this weekend W took kids we had snow storm I believe almost 2 feet or more it started Thursday night and by time Friday we where in bad shape to even drive News said do not drive only if necessary. So W has a small car no 4 wheel drive or anything I sent a text after 4 months of not even communicating we just do exchanges, so I was concern I told W I'll take to you at your location as I have a huge SUV that is great in snow I offered to even W take my truck I'll take our car as cars are still under my name.W replied saying I made arrangements blah blah I thought W renteda truck or a friend who has truck. Well well well W pulls up in her car I seen W pull up in our location W car slipping and slidding and I was in my truck shaking my head to myself I wanted to scream, but just like W she is a stubborn woman, I have a better chance with a real bull then dealing with W stubbornness and miss know it all. Smh I simply said if you need truck is yours I'll take car. Want to make sure kids are safe. W just stared with some sadness or just that unemotional look. Like seriously is like an Allien just standing there. Like nothing. I just kiss babies and wish them a great weekend with their mom.

S8 and D9 came back Sunday my best friend birthday so we went out to dinner after pick my d9 kept jacket on I wonder and ask take coat off d9 said am cold mom but it wasn't I ask are you ok. D9 responded yes but Us adult knew something was wrong so I ask one of my bestf to take her to bathroom and talk with d9 BTW these conversations with friend's where all text because I don't like talking about anything that's happening around kids Friend did and when she said what was happening I wanted to call W and say have you lost your marbles our Daugther is only 9,

Well W brought d9 a silky patted bra that made my d9 look like she had boobies btw my daughter does not have at all, I make daughter wear little girls under shirts. My d9 is just a little girl. Mentally and physically. D9 says she told W no I don't want W tell d9 you will look cute you need to start showing like you have boobies you will thank me one day WTF. I just wanted to go to her place and say what is wrong with you. She only a little girl.

Btw W knows how protective I am with my d9, with all my kids but more with d9 because she my little girl. Well d9 came home after dinner and ran upstairs then came back down and trash it. And started crying and saying mommy I felt dirty like a women and I dont want to feel that way, I held d9 saying you know it was wrong and I am proud of you for realizing that it was wrong to wear that. I am sorry but remember is your body and next time stand your ground and tell W you will not put that on. And remind her is my body my choice.

S8 says it was ok at her house but couple of time W reminded kids how that's her house and doesn't care what I do but in her house they better listen and eat whenever W says. Which again not sure why W feels to remind kids is her home and we will never get back. Tell kids I was a mistake on everything. Wow smh.

I guess I will never understand in my W eyes I am a monster, hates me for sure and now regrets her life knowing me. But then I read messages from not even a yr ago where W wrote me a beautiful letter saying how lucky she was she felt like she won the lottery, she praises me about being an amazing friend,wife and mother. And I have tons of cards and letters saying this. But now I am worthless and regrets even knowing me.

Now I admit to this it kills me trying to figure out how W just switch to hating me, US how can this happen and I don't have the answer. I guess I will never know what happen. I just wonder how long can this hate and anger last. Especially with me who have major surgeries again coming up. I don't wanna ever die holding on to this thought of W.