you are missing the point here. Have you even read DB and DR? The Xs are overcompensating in layman's terms they are putting on a show. Right after a break-up, they feel freed from the shackles of the relationship and they flourish. And just like a peacock they show their feathers to attract a new mate (quite possibly they already have someone in their sights).
They are floating on cloud 9 of their newfound happiness and it takes time for them to realize that their dream is just that, a fantasy. Sooner or later their world starts to cave around them and for the life of them they cannot figure out why.
Also you are still not looking into yourself. You do have to own up to your part in the destruction of marriage. You were not faultless here. And for you to say that your W looks all dolled up, and why she could not at least try to make the M work. Well do I have news for you. Chances are that your W has been "trying" to make it work for at least a couple of years and you were just to stubborn to realize it. In hindsite you will be able to recognize it, to recognize the signs, but you are still early into your sitch. You will come to realize this fact in due time.
You really do need to shift your focus from her and onto you. She has began her journey and you should get going on your, there really is no reason for you to be shuffling your feet (still)...
