Today was another bad day. I talked with my dad and he asked if I would go with him to my brothers grave. I just collapsed. I just fell on the floor crying. I'm so f-ing broken right now. I'm so hurt. I just want to crawl in to a pit and stay there. When will this pain go away? When can I start processing my brothers death? When can I mourn that?

Me:39 W:36
S:12 D:9
T:14 M:11
Separation:sep. 1 2017
D filed oct. 2017
D finalized july 2018
OM confirmed feb 2018
D finalized July 2018

The fact is this. You have to be in pain before you can learn.