Yes Gordie, the comment by the DB coach was echoed by my IC. It's an absolutely bizarre letter. Neither the DB coach nor my seasoned therapist have ever seen anything like it. IC said it's plain abusive.
Bttrfly - yes, I am seeing an IC. And she is helping me a lot, mostly processing all the craziness I lived through these last few years. Thanks for your great post; you always offer many pearls.
Job and KML - thanks for reminding me about anger and depression. My IC said the same about male depression. The anger is just palpable. He just wants to fight 24/7. Recently I emailed him letting him know I shaved the dog down this time but we should alternate and he can take the next grooming. His response? That the way I shave the dog down is abusive! And maybe I should give him full custody. I have always shaved the dog down and he never cried foul before this. Umm, if he suddenly feels so strongly about this then we can have him professionally groomed and just split the cost.
He wants every to be a smack down, drag out fight.
Sotto - I actually am at peace with my part. I did the best I could. Each day I breathe a little easier. I am starting to dream a different life. It's nothing drastically different from what I live today. But, I see a calm restored to my life and a sense of normalcy. I am going to re-build a beautiful life for myself.
Something went very wrong with him. But it's not mine to fix. I am at peace with the fact that I will have my family and he will have his family. I do not wish him ill will. Actually, I feel sorry for him. I have a lot of support. His family is MIA as usual. His mother sent a text to s14 saying call me if you need to talk. Ouch. S14 never opened it.
I see him angry and trying to control 24/7. He did seem to have ideas of how this would all go. I wouldn't get a lawyer. I would just agree to all his terms. My family would have his back.
The more I see him rage and control, the happier I am to be away from him. He's just as raw as he was post BD 2. It's such wasted effort. I can't even go there.
As Job said, like her ex, my ex his plan is in place: new place, new life, freedom and he's away from me. There should be a release from the anger, no? Even a temporary one, right? He seems even angrier than when he was home with me!
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
