I think you expect your BFF to respect your M or have your W make her respect it. Not gonna happen. BFF has got to want to do that on her own, because she owes no allegiance to you. So it is your W who will be responsible for stepping up and saying "let me see what my H has planned and I'll get back to you, if that is indeed her actual birthday. To have any expectation of BFF of giving a sh!t is going to disappoint you. Expressing your disapproval of the way your BFF handled things isn't going ot get you anywhere. Maybe it is your wife you should be expressing your disapproval of the way SHE handled things if it really bothered you. But you seem cool with it and understand, so best to leave it alone.
I agree.
I'm glad to hear your W sounds excited about your plans. It may be a challenge for you to not allow your feelings toward BFF to push your buttons. It would be a challenge for me, too. But Ginger is right. It is your W that is going to need to set the BFF straight by giving her the appropriate responses.....like the example Ginger stated. That example sounds like what a M woman would say when someone else asked her to go on a trip with them. It's not the W asking for permission from her H. It is the W showing consideration for her partner in M.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
