.....and ever and ever and ever

[DonH]

Believe it or not, the longer you are alone (been a darn long time for me) the pickier you get, not more desperate. And yes, I am afraid of actually going too long single, because I may need Mr. Perfect to come along to be willing to share my life.

Truer words have not been spoken. For someone like me who is slow to adapt to change, it's even worse. I can remember after BD, the first time I went grocery shopping by myself was traumatizing. Now having lived by myself for 12 years, wow it would be such a change to even live with someone. I've always been picky - all my life - but even more so now.

Whether to kiss someone on the first date. That can be such a difficult read. The Millionaire Matchmaker from TV says that there should be a kiss on every good first date. She claims that's one of the ways to tell if there is anything there. Hmmmmm is that what happened here? And if you were more into him, and he didn't kiss you, would you now be saying you wished he would have and questioning his level of interest? I'm actually curious why you wished he didn't. Or was it due to your reaction?

Note to everyone else here, see the level of impact pursuit has? Ginger has mentioned several times already that he is trying too hard and wants an R too much. Ginger really does not have to try much. He's already shown he wants her without having to try, and it's a turn-off to Ginger. Desperation is rarely ever a turn on.

Now the Facebook excuse thing, I really do think you are using it as an excuse and here is why. Running him or anyone on your states court database is a good idea but so is meeting in a public place. Do you really need that deep dive into him on a first date meeting in a public place? And if he is on trial for rape is he really going to post it on Facebook? You wanted to cyber stalk him and find out what you could. Let's be highest here. That said, if you are having him pick you up for a date, that's a much better reason for a deeper dive but again Facebook and Twitter only tells part of the story. It's why I'm very very careful about what I post on social media. I rarely post anyhow and never pictures on dates, I'm careful with comments,,etc. very often nothing good comes from posting on social media.

As for looking for "hot chicks," I make comments like that all the time - meant in a total joking manner. I say lots of things meant in a joking manner that may well not get taken that way. I mean nothing bad by it and being "hot" is only a small piece but it's a guy thing. We are not about to say "I'm heading out tonight to find some interesting conversation and intelligent banter with a nice lady" even if that's what I'm looking for.

So you are doing the right thing here giving it another try. It's easy to say not to read too much in and all but as many have said you have to kiss a lot of frogs and this latest guy may be one of them. At least have fun while playing on the lily pads.