Can you give us some marital history? Why did the two of you separate?

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I’m struggling on whether or not to expose my knowledge of this, and if so how and to who.


What do you wish to accomplish by exposing her? What would you be exposing, that she is planning to meet this OM? Do you have any proof, other than what your kids said? Do you know the OM personally?

It's JMHO that you should not step off into exposing her. You have been physically separated for four years, so unless this man is threating harm to your children, or he is into criminal activity, or something equally as bad.......then your actions could be seen as punitive, controlling, jealous, and host of other negative things. All in all, if your intentions are to get your W to fall into your arms......exposing her probably won't be favorable.

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She also said she has not and is not seeing anyone. Starting saying that she’ll probably be alone for the rest of her life, who would want to be with her. I didnt say a word about what i knew about her trying to lure away this OM.


Is this the first time you have seen her in this light (playing the victim, lying, etc.)?

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At any rate, i will happily put together a formal separation agreement. I expect this to be a dose of reality for her. Right now she has her cake and eats it too. Selling the house, having the kids every other week will be a total shock to her system.


So, has she not had to share equal time with the kids? I suppose with you being there, doing handiwork around the house, plus being with the kids, has served her a lot of cake. If she has not had to go to work and if you are supporting her in every way.....just as you did before separation, then removing all of it will be more shock than just the S agreement in place.

Until we hear more about what led to the S, then IMHO...it's time to get an agreement in place. Why does she get to stay home and not work, while you can't even afford a place to live? It's time you had a place to live, instead of staying with your parents.

If she is a WW, then I'm sure she is not going to like any agreement that is actually "fair" to both of you. It sounds as if you have spoiled her in many ways. If so, then she's not going to be happy about giving up anything.

But before assuming too much, we really need to hear the background story.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!