I think you expect your BFF to respect your M or have your W make her respect it. Not gonna happen. BFF has got to want to do that on her own, because she owes no allegiance to you. So it is your W who will be responsible for stepping up and saying "let me see what my H has planned and I'll get back to you, if that is indeed her actual birthday. To have any expectation of BFF of giving a sh!t is going to disappoint you. Expressing your disapproval of the way your BFF handled things isn't going ot get you anywhere. Maybe it is your wife you should be expressing your disapproval of the way SHE handled things if it really bothered you. But you seem cool with it and understand, so best to leave it alone.
