WW, A ended, but struggling to reconnect (My 11th)

[hoosjim]

See, this is where I see the difference. BFF doesn't give a crap what you had planned. So why bother telling your W? What do you expect? That your exW says to BFF, you should ask my husband first to see if he is making any plans before you do?"

Your Wife should have said "let me see if my H has anything planned for me first, and I'll get back to you".

Otherwise, she seems excited about the trip. Don't spoil it with BFF crap. The way I see it is, that is for your W to handle, on her own accord.

I think there is may be a valuable nugget in here I am missing.

Other than agreeing that either or both of my W or bff should have asked me... especially W, I think I am missing some of the nuance of your post, could you rephrase/explain some?

FWIW, W did tell me as soon as she got the text from bff saying "I'm planning a girls birthday weekend on X weekend", and showed me the text (without looking, I think it came in on Saturday morning). She didn't "ask" or say "is this okay"...but... it was quite possible, and consistent with the roundabout way she goes at such things sometimes, that she was "woman testing" or giving me the opportunity to say something... idk. I was just so taken aback at that moment that I just let it pass, and she didn't say anything committing to doing it, either. Next time it came up was last night, and had she not gotten the text from GF I was going to bring it up.

But, anyway, yeah-- further clarification/explanation on your post might be helpful. Maybe the only point is, at this point, don't harp on or belabor the bff angle... which I was not going to do. But... if there's more please let me know... I appreciate all you gals' insights on this.