M.....I am sorry your are feeling the way that you do. It does appear that you are feeling insecure and something about your perception of your W has really struck a chord with you. Dig deep and determine why that really is.
I understand your desire and/or need to make more money to provide for your children/yourself. I also understand how that could make you more confident and secure in your future. Just know that it won't fix all of your problems. I make more than double what my W does and I am still in this situation.
Let me ask you this. You have often indicated that your W would have to make a bunch of changes and in your response to Nicole you even indicate that you know she wasn't the best partner for you. If that is the case why does it all matter? Maybe this is happening exactly the way it should be and your next R will be with someone who just loves M for M.
What values as a man do bring to a relationship? What are the good qualities about M that you can draw strength and confidence from? You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you. Who wants to be with M whether he is making 50k per year or 100k per year.
Hang in there....keep your head held high. Appreciate all that you have and walk around with confidence. Maybe your not where you want to be in life or have the career that you had hoped for but IMO there is something to be said for those individuals who are happy, secure and confident with whatever they are doing or the situation they are in. If you flip burgers be the happiest, most confident and secure burger flipper ever.
I explored this deep with my IC when I had the same feelings you do. I felt like I wasn't smart enough, good enough, that I was not complex enough, that I needed to be more muilt-demensional and do a bunch of things that I wasn't interested in doing just to check a box or to win her back. I was struggling. Then a light switch went off in my head and I said F-that. I am who I am and I like what I like and if that isn't good enough for her (now) then I am not the one for her. I am a happy person. My IC told me that people chase happiness their entire lives and have never finf it and if you have found it you have something that many people would love to have. True contentment.
Truth is M people change. You stick to who you are, do you. Change some stuff if you want because you want to do it for yourself. Find your happiness h$ll maybe you already have and you just don't realize it .
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