That's frightening that your XH tried to get in when you were home. Good thing you changed the locks!
I'll be changing the locks very soon, but I'm concerned she'll get access to the new key by looking through the kids' backpacks when they're with her. If she comes in again without my permission, I'll have the police issue her a trespass warning.
Yes. I would also keep a record of absolutely everything. Including the date you change the locks, if that's the road you decide to go down.
Originally Posted By: Holding
(Funny, my IC actually told me a few weeks ago that I could probably wait on changing the locks, since XW "knew" she needed my permission to enter.)
Might be worth discussing the antisocial personality disorder aspect of XH with your IC? See what they have to say, and what their take is.
In my experience there have been IC who absolutely get this and get what the deal is with these kinds of people, and others who just don't understand.
Originally Posted By: Holding
Meditation has always been hard for me. I don't know why. It's just really hard to calm myself - I'm a bit neurotic by nature. Anything "light" you can recommend?
Ah, interesting...the aim of meditation might not be calming yourself? That might just be a by product of it?
Maybe try and think of the aim of meditation as becoming aware of your feelings and physical reactions to them?
Much of the behaviour of people like your XW is about making themselves centre stage, what they want to do is gain your attention and energy. Some of what they do be incredibly subtle. If you're giving them your attention and energy then guess what? That attention and energy isn't being focused on yourself, and you lose your balance, lose yourself in a way.
So meditation is a way of very gently refocusing that energy and attention on yourself. And very gently learning to become aware of when it shifts to something else, and of (non judgementally) bringing it back to yourself.
It's neither difficult nor easy - those are judgements. It just is whatever the experience is, in that moment.
I'm also neurotic by nature and as a result of life experiences. I'm a worrier, a fixer. But I have been absolutely loving this whole process of detachment. It feels like a huge weight of 'responsibility' being lifted from my shoulders. I'm **only** responsible for my behaviour...what an amazing relief.
