WW, A ended, but struggling to reconnect (My 11th)

[hoosjim]

a husband does not need bff's approval to do something with his wife.

Hey, coconut, thanks.

I want to make something crystal clear, though: I would never, never, think i needed, nor would i seek, that... woman's... approval about anything. She's lower than whale spit in my book. Maybe not that low, but pretty low. I have "forgiven" her in the Christian sense and wish no ill will on her, but I want, and do not intend on giving her, any influence or pull on my life.

My thought... and it was only a "thinking out loud" kind of thought, was along the lines of trying to maintain control of the situation and the surprise factor at the same time. (I had actually already been talking with w's coworkers with whom i am friendly about getting the time off for her without her knowing). The thought was a musing about whether or not it might be fruitful to say to bff "hey, look, Mr.s hoosjim told me you are trying to plan a girls weekend on _______, but I am already planning on taking Mrs. Hoosjim away that weekend for her birthday... If you want my her to participate, why dont you look at other weekends for your get-together?" I would never approach her with a "request" nor with any seeking of approval.

That said, your point is well-taken... this needs to be between me and my W. Involving bff would be unnecessary, appear weak, and would unnecessarily complicate things... especially given the strained relationship (putting it kindly) that i have with the woman.

Thanks!