Answering the Call

[HaWho]

Thanks all. Yes, Exquisite, he did not honor the agreement. But days later his lawyer said they agreed so not sure how my lawyers handled it, but they did.

Pax and Mleigh - thanks for the support.

Job - ex's lawyer has his hands full. I have been copied on some correspondence that comes back from his lawyer. At one point his lawyer apologized for saying something ex said about me that the lawyer repeated. And on several occasions he has had to ask ex to stop bombarding me with correspondence and stop setting arbitrary deadlines on me.

Things are tense. Ex ignores me. On Friday I called him to work something out schedule wise for the kids and he hung up on me! He is MAD.ALL.THE.TIME.

I feel tremendous relief to have him out, truth be told. It is as Job said; I had no idea how hard it was having him in the home. Recently he was telling the kids about a book he was reading about how to slow down the aging process. Oh, how I do not miss those conversations. And I do feel like I can breathe easier. He was so miserable and brought such a foul mood to the house.

My niece came for a surprise visit this weekend. Kids were supposed to be with ex. But he dropped them off for the weekend. I am not sure if kids asked for it or how it all unrolled. I thought we'd only see them for part of the weekend but they were here the whole time she was here. I am so thankful for all the support.

When he dropped off the kids my niece and I were outside. She was quite distant with him. She said it was hard to see the kids dropped off and to think of how their lives have shifted. But she also revealed that she stopped liking him years ago when she watched how selfish he had become.

Within minutes of coming into the house, ex had sent niece a message telling her that her response to him was disrespectful to do in front of the kids, that she owes him more than that, that there are two sides to a story, that he has always thought so much of her and her family (my sister, BIL and my other niece), etc. He said he knew her loyalty was to me but he had his side but was too much of a gentleman to tell it. (The letter he wrote to me shows he is no sort of gentleman these days.) Then he signed off as "Respectfully, Still Uncle X."

She did not answer him. Odd how he thinks he can tell a 24 year old woman how she should treat him and what she owes him. I was surprised he cared to take the time to write to her. It turns out that all my nieces have not liked him in years. He hasn't really communicated with them in many, many years so not sure what she "owes" him.

Distance brings clarity. Ex has been very difficult for years. Actually, when I talked to a DB coach years ago and told her about the letter, she was quiet a bit and told me she did not think this marriage was workable. She was Christian and pro-marriage but she said that letter was cruel and completely abnormal. I am still glad I stayed as I had 2 more years with my kids.

Working hard to support my kids through all this. Lots and lots of anger coming out of son. He went to therapy but does not want to return. I think he found it hard to deal with all the emotions that were brought up. I wonder if ex didn't pooh pooh it all to him. I have tried to encourage him to return but conversations are contentious.

Ex is playing Disney dad. S14 tells me he likes going to his dad's as he doesn't have to think about anything and his dad doesn't ask any questions about how he is doing. Then all the emotion comes out here, at me. I know KML said it would be so but it still painful that it seems like everything is great there and at many times, hard here when those emotions bubble up here.

Next weekend one of my sisters is coming for the week. I am thankful for the support. My other sister will come within the month.

I will get through this . . .