To jump ahead of things in Finlad we don't have good MC. Not that I've heard of. But we'll tackle that if and when it's time for it.
Then you could order tapes or books from a well know author (Like Gottman, for example) who teaches healing after an affair. Of course, it would take discipline and it is harder to do as a couple, but don't go to a bad counselor. My H would not go to MC with me, but he would use a book. We would go a chapter every night and then discuss it. Not as good as having a professional dealing directly with you.....but better than nothing.
You have to enforce boundaries when you have a WW. You just have to do it, or they learn nothing and repeat the bad behavior. Even after reconciliation, you have to hold her feet to the fire, or she will disrespect you. The key is to not let her slide by one time....then, twice, then three times.....etc.
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She was sorry for doing this. There is some part of her that would like to give M another chance but she is afraid that everything will be the same.
Did you quizz her about it, or did she volunteer this information? I would not sink too much in expectations in words that come from drinking. Remember, the way to know she is being real is when her words, attitude and actions are parallel.
You'll know you have made a lot of progress in yourself, when you stop wondering if it means anything, and just accept the nicer times for what they genuinely are.........nice.
I'm not trying to pull you down, I am trying to prevent you from having expectations from a conversation while she was drinking..........or even not drinking, for that matter. Words, although appreciated, are very cheap.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
